Hello. My name is SSG Lee, Ho Yong, and I am an Active Duty U.S. Army Soldier and Army Recruiter currently serving in Virginia.
I work with applicants throughout the continental United States and assist with both U.S. Army Active Duty and Army Reserve enlistment, regardless of where they live.
I created this page because I repeatedly hear the same situation during enlistment counseling.
This page is primarily written for applicants who are considering Active Duty but are hesitating because of concerns from their spouse or family. Because Army Reserve service and family benefits are different, I will address the Reserve separately where appropriate.
An applicant may be seriously considering joining the Army, but then tell me:
βI donβt think I can do it because my spouse is against it.β
When I ask why, the concerns are usually understandable:
βI donβt want us to be separated for months.β
βIβll have to take care of the kids by myself while youβre gone.β
βWeβre expecting our second or third child. How can you leave for training now?β
βI donβt want to leave the area where we live.β
βWhat happens to our family if you deploy?β
βIt looks like youβll make less than you do at your current job. Why would we choose the Army?β
βWhat happens to my career if I have to leave my job?β
These concerns should not simply be dismissed.
Joining the military does not only change the applicantβs job. It can affect the spouse, children, where the family lives, and the familyβs daily life.
But there is another side that I believe deserves just as much attention:
If the length of training is the concern, we can compare MOS options and training lengths.
If pregnancy or childbirth is the concern, we can look at the due date, available Ship Dates, training timeline, and healthcare coverage.
If moving is the concern, we can look at PCS support, housing, schools, and employment options for the spouse.
If the concern is money, we should not compare a civilian paycheck to Army Base Pay alone. We should compare the entire compensation package, including housing, healthcare, education benefits, paid leave, and retirement.
And this page is not only for the spouse who has concerns.
I also want to ask the applicant something:
Your spouseβs concerns deserve real answers.
But you should also think about what your family's future may look like if you choose to keep your current life exactly as it is.
That concern is understandable.
When someone first joins the U.S. Army, they attend Basic Combat Training (BCT) and then Advanced Individual Training (AIT) for their chosen MOS.
That means there will be a period of time when the Soldier and family are separated.
But I would not make the entire decision based only on the statement:
βWeβll have to be apart for several months.β
First, find out how long you would actually be apart.
AIT length varies significantly by MOS.
If being separated from your family is one of your biggest concerns, then when comparing MOS options, you can consider not only the job itself but also the length of AIT.
You can also look at available Ship Dates when contracting and determine how much time your family may have to prepare.
I went through a similar situation myself.
When I first joined the Army, my wife was approximately eight months pregnant with our first child when I left for BCT.
At the time, those months did not feel short.
But now, roughly ten years later, I sometimes ask myself a very different question:
I think about our family healthcare,
housing,
our children's future education,
my career,
and retirement.
Would I have been able to build the same foundation for my family?
I am not saying that several months of BCT and AIT are insignificant.
I am saying that a few difficult months and the next 10 or 20 years of your family's life should not automatically be given the same weight.
For families with young children, this is a very real concern.
If you have two, three, or more children, there may be a period when one spouse has to carry most of the childcare responsibilities alone.
That is why the answer should not simply be:
βJust deal with it for a few months.β
The answer should be planning.
Find out how long BCT and AIT will actually take.
Consider whether parents or relatives can help.
Plan for childcare.
If the children are in school, plan transportation and daily schedules.
If the spouse is working, determine how work and childcare responsibilities can be managed during that period.
My family went through this personally.
While I was in training, my wife gave birth to our first child and cared for our baby without close family nearby to help.
I know that could not have been easy for her.
That is why I would never tell another spouse:
βItβs no big deal. Just tough it out.β
But looking back today, those months were also a period that we went through together in order to change the direction of our family's future.
At the time, it felt like it would never end.
But it did.
So instead of asking only:
I would also ask:
Pregnancy and childbirth are times when support from a spouse can be especially important.
If there are already other young children in the home, the burden can be even greater.
But that does not necessarily mean the immediate conclusion has to be:
βMy spouse is pregnant, so we should forget about the Army for the next few years.β
Sometimes the real issue is not whether to enlist.
The day you begin the enlistment process is not necessarily the same day you leave for BCT.
The first step is to compare the baby's due date with available Ship Dates and the expected BCT/AIT timeline.
Healthcare should also be part of that calculation.
In my case, I had already entered BCT and begun Active Duty service before our first child was born.
As a result, my family was covered by military healthcare at the time, and our family did not have an out-of-pocket medical burden for the birth of our first child.
That does not mean every family will pay $0.
Actual costs can vary depending on the TRICARE coverage in effect, enrollment status, healthcare provider, and individual circumstances.
If you currently have civilian health insurance, however, compare the actual numbers:
How much do you pay in monthly premiums?
What is your deductible?
What would your expected out-of-pocket cost be for childbirth?
How much will your family insurance cost increase after another child is born?
What happens financially if the baby or mother needs additional treatment or medical services?
Having another child means welcoming another person you love into your family.
It also means accepting additional financial responsibility.
So instead of thinking only:
βWeβre having a baby, so now is a bad time to join the Army.β
consider asking:
The military also has parental leave policies for qualifying births and adoptions. The policy applicable at the time of service should be reviewed based on the family's actual circumstances.
I understand this concern as well.
Your current community may be where your family and friends live.
Your children may already be established in school.
Your spouse may have a job.
You know the restaurants, stores, churches, neighborhoods, and community.
Moving somewhere new can absolutely be stressful.
If you join Active Duty, I cannot promise that you will remain in the same area where you currently live.
But I would ask one additional question:
Is it because your spouse has an excellent career there?
Because you need to stay close to your parents?
Because the area offers something uniquely important for your children's education?
Or simply because it is familiar?
Those are very different reasons and should be evaluated differently.
A military PCS is also different from an ordinary civilian move.
Depending on PCS orders and individual circumstances, there may be support for household goods transportation, travel-related allowances, DLA, and other moving-related benefits. At the new duty station, the family may also be able to consider BAH or available military housing depending on the situation.
There is an established support system that is very different from simply accepting a civilian job in another state and paying for the entire move yourself.
I grew up in Southern California, in an area with a large Korean-American community.
Leaving a familiar community was not easy for me either.
But looking back, I sometimes think that if I had simply accepted the life I knew and never joined the Army, I might still be working two or even three jobs just to make ends meet.
I have worked within the Korean-American community myself.
I know what it feels like to work hard while still being uncertain about where your career is actually going.
And moving away does not mean you will never see your family or friends again.
Service members earn paid leave while serving, which can be used to spend time with family, relatives, and friends when circumstances allow.
So ask yourself:
Or:
Those are two very different things.
Deployment is a legitimate concern for military families.
I cannot promise anyone:
βYou will never deploy.β
But the opposite assumption is not accurate either:
βIf you join the Army, you will eventually have to deploy.β
Whether and when a Soldier deploys can depend on many factors, including MOS, assigned unit, mission, timing, operational requirements, and the needs of the Army.
I can also share my own experience.
I have served approximately 10 years on Active Duty in the U.S. Army, and I have not deployed.
That does not mean I can guarantee that I will never deploy in the future.
And another Soldier may experience a deployment during his or her service.
My point is simple:
You should not close the door on an Army career based solely on the assumption that military service automatically means deployment.
The solution is not to pretend that deployment is impossible.
Military families have support systems, and planning for periods of extended separation is also part of military life.
There are parts of military service that you cannot completely control.
But civilian careers do not give you complete control over life either.
A company can close.
A job can disappear.
You may have to work hours you do not want or travel for work.
And if you need a second or third job just to cover your family's expenses, you may technically live in the same house while still spending very little meaningful time with your spouse and children.
So consider another question:
Deployment risk should absolutely be considered.
But whether that possibility alone should outweigh a career, family healthcare, housing-related support, education opportunities, professional development, and retirement is a different question.
The goal is not to focus on one risk in isolation.
The goal is to understand how significant that risk actually is and compare it with the stability and opportunities your family may gain from the decision.
This is a question that should be answered with actual numbers.
But comparing your current paycheck to Army Base Pay alone does not give you the full picture.
Take a closer look at what your current job actually provides.
How much do you pay every month for family health insurance?
Even with insurance, how much do you pay in deductibles, copays, and other out-of-pocket medical expenses?
After taxes and insurance premiums, how much money actually reaches your bank account?
How much does your employer contribute toward college tuition or professional certifications?
Does your employer offer an education benefit that can potentially benefit your family?
How much paid time off do you receive?
What does your retirement plan look like?
If you leave your current employer, which benefits and opportunities actually follow you?
Does your current career give you opportunities to live and gain experience in other parts of the United States or overseas?
And there is another important question:
Army compensation should not be judged by Base Pay alone either.
Depending on an individual's qualifications and circumstances, the overall picture may include Base Pay, BAH, BAS, healthcare, paid leave, education benefits, TSP, and long-term career opportunities.
This becomes especially important if your current job does not provide enough income by itself and you are working a second or even third job just to support your household.
Working multiple jobs can be a sign that you are working extremely hard.
But:
Your combined income from two or three jobs may be higher than Army Base Pay.
But how many hours of your life does it take to earn that money?
Do you finish one shift and then leave for another job?
Do you work weekends?
How much time are you actually home while your children are awake?
How much time do you spend with your spouse?
That lifestyle may be manageable in your 30s.
Time with your family has value too.
The most important question is not:
βWhich job gives me the bigger paycheck?β
It is:
Ultimately, what matters is your family's actual numbers.
The answer will be different depending on your current income, family health insurance costs, housing expenses, number of children, expected entry rank, and family situation.
If you would like, we can compare your current compensation and household expenses with the compensation and benefits you may receive after joining Active Duty.
You do not have to make the decision based on someone simply saying:
βThe Army pays more.β
or
βThe Army pays less.β
Look at what the difference could actually mean for your family and then decide.
This is also a completely reasonable concern for a spouse.
If one person's new career requires the other spouse to automatically give up his or her own career, that is not much of a solution.
But receiving PCS orders to another location does not necessarily mean the spouse's career is over.
Depending on the duty station and surrounding area, there may be civilian employment opportunities, federal employment opportunities, and employment resources available to military spouses.
For those who qualify, programs such as Military Spouse Hiring Authority may also be relevant when pursuing certain federal employment opportunities.
There are several questions worth exploring:
Can your current job be done remotely?
Can your professional license or experience transfer to another state?
Are there opportunities in the same field near the new duty station?
Could additional education or certifications help you enter another career field?
βIβm joining the Army, so you just have to follow me.β
The better question is:
Moving to another state does not automatically mean the spouse's career has to end.
In some cases, a new location may even create career opportunities that were not available before.
A PCS may require children to change schools.
Leaving friends, teachers, and a familiar school environment may not be easy for them.
As a parent, however, I think there is another side worth considering.
Children can also broaden their perspective by experiencing different environments.
A new city.
New friends.
Different cultures.
And sometimes even the opportunity to live overseas.
Military families care about their children's education just like any other family.
Before a PCS, many military families research schools, school districts, neighborhoods, and available services for their children.
Depending on the location, there may also be programs designed to support military-connected students as they transition between schools and communities.
For example, Fairfax County Public Schools in Virginia, where I currently serve, provides information and resources specifically for military families.
Growing up in one community can be a wonderful experience.
But experiencing different places, people, and cultures can also become an asset for a child.
The question does not have to stop at:
βOur children would have to change schools, so we can't do it.β
Instead, ask:
If staying in your current area is one of your family's highest priorities, the Army Reserve is absolutely something you can compare.
The Reserve generally allows Soldiers to maintain a civilian career, education, and community life while also serving in the Army.
But Active Duty and the Army Reserve serve different purposes.
If one of the main reasons you are considering the Army is:
then traditional Reserve service does not simply replace Active Duty.
So first ask:
Or:
The Reserve may be the better fit.
Active Duty may be the better fit.
The important thing is to remember why you started looking at the Army in the first place.
Sometimes a spouse may still be against military service even when the applicant is considering the Army Reserve.
The concerns are often similar:
βWonβt you still be gone for months when you first join?β
βCanβt Reserve Soldiers deploy too?β
Yes.
Joining the Army Reserve does not mean you immediately begin by simply attending weekend training near your home.
Like Active Duty Soldiers, new Army Reserve Soldiers must complete Basic Combat Training (BCT) and then attend the Advanced Individual Training (AIT) required for their MOS.
That means there will still be an initial period when the Soldier is away from the family.
Army Reserve service also does not mean there is zero possibility of mobilization or deployment.
So what is the major difference?
In traditional Army Reserve service, Soldiers generally maintain their civilian job or education while completing required training with their assigned Reserve unit.
That is very different from serving as a full-time Active Duty Soldier whose family may PCS based on the Soldier's duty assignment.
If keeping your current community,
your spouse's career,
your children's schools,
and your own civilian career
is extremely important to your family, the Army Reserve may be an option worth considering.
But if your spouse says:
βI still don't want you gone for those first several months.β
then do the same thing you would do when considering Active Duty:
AIT length varies by MOS.
That means you can compare available MOS options along with their training timelines.
There is a difference between simply assuming:
βIf you join the military, you're going to disappear for months.β
and actually looking at the available MOS options, their training schedules, and how your family could prepare.
Deployment should be approached the same way.
I cannot tell you:
βArmy Reserve means you will never deploy.β
But it would also be inaccurate to assume:
βIf you join the Reserve, you will definitely deploy.β
The possibility should be understood.
But rather than judging the entire Army Reserve based on that possibility alone, ask what your family is hoping to gain from Reserve service.
Are you looking for education benefits?
Do you want to build military experience while maintaining a civilian career?
Are you looking to build an additional military career and work toward retirement?
Are you trying to create more career options for your future?
Start by identifying the goal.
The Army Reserve is still something that should be discussed as a family.
But you also do not have to conclude:
βThe military just isn't right for our family.β
before you have even looked at the actual options.
First, look at the available MOSs, training lengths, Reserve units, service requirements, and benefits.
Then compare the concerns with what your family could potentially gain from Reserve service.
If you are genuinely satisfied with your current life, there may be no reason to change it.
If one job provides enough income to support your family and save for the future,
you have good healthcare,
you are preparing adequately for retirement,
you have enough time with your family,
and your current career has a clear path forward,
then staying on your current path may be a very good choice.
But there is a difference between:
and:
Will your company still be stable five years from now?
Will you still be able to work at the same pace ten years from now?
Will your income keep up as your children grow and your family's expenses increase?
If your current job disappears, do you have skills and experience that another employer will value?
Are you adequately preparing for retirement?
If your health is not the same in the future, will you still be able to continue doing the same work?
The longer the timeline becomes, the greater the difference can become between a career with strong long-term retirement benefits and one without them.
So I want to ask a slightly uncomfortable question:
There is nothing wrong with continuing to work because you enjoy it.
But there is a major difference between:
working because you want to
and
working because you cannot afford to stop.
I am not saying the Army is the right answer for everyone.
But keeping everything exactly the same is also a decision.
Now I want to ask the applicant a more direct question.
Your spouse's opposition may genuinely be the biggest issue.
This is an important family decision, and your spouse's opinion should not simply be ignored.
But sometimes there may be something else happening too.
Maybe you are also afraid of change.
A new environment may feel uncomfortable.
BCT may worry you.
Leaving your current job may feel risky.
Moving may feel overwhelming.
And when your spouse says no, it can become easy to say:
So ask yourself something:
Or would you immediately begin looking for another reason to wait?
This is not about blaming your spouse.
It is about separating your spouse's concerns from your own fears.
Ask yourself whether you are keeping your current life because it is genuinely good for you and your family,
or whether your current life is not really what you want, but changing it feels more frightening than staying where you are.
Those are two very different situations.
Fear of change is normal.
Your current job is familiar.
Your current community is familiar.
Even working two jobs may be exhausting, but at least it is a life you already know.
The Army is something you may never have experienced before.
So staying where you are can feel safer than choosing something unfamiliar.
But ask yourself:
If every month you are struggling to cover expenses,
if it takes two jobs to support the household,
if health insurance is a financial burden,
if you barely have time with your family,
if there is little room to save,
and if you can already imagine yourself doing exactly the same thing several years from now,
then your life may be familiar.
But whether it is truly stable is another question.
Five years will pass whether you make a change or not.
Ten years will pass too.
When that time comes, you do not want to look back and think:
You do not have to choose the Army simply because another path exists.
But you should at least take an objective look at whether the path you are currently on is truly the best path for your family's future.
Before trying to convince your spouse, start with one simple question:
Do not argue.
Do not try to prove your spouse wrong.
Listen first.
The answer might be:
βI don't want to move.β
βI don't want to take care of the kids by myself.β
βI'm worried about deployment.β
βI don't want to give up my career.β
βI'm worried because we're expecting another baby.β
βI don't think the Army will actually make our financial situation better.β
Each concern requires a different solution.
If moving is the issue, talk about PCS, housing, schools, and the spouse's career.
If childcare is the issue, look at the BCT/AIT timeline and make a realistic family plan.
If pregnancy or childbirth is the issue, compare the due date, available Ship Dates, training timeline, and healthcare coverage.
If deployment is the concern, understand what deployment actually means and what can and cannot be guaranteed.
If money is the issue, compare total compensation and benefits, not just Base Pay.
Start with the one or two issues that matter most to your spouse and determine whether there is a realistic solution.
Every choice comes with a tradeoff.
If you choose the Army, your family may have to give up certain things.
You may have to leave your current community.
You may be separated during training.
Your spouse may need to change jobs.
Your children may need to change schools.
There may be a possibility of deployment.
Those are real considerations.
But that is only one side of the decision.
Ask what your family could potentially gain as well.
More predictable income.
Healthcare coverage.
Housing-related benefits.
Education opportunities.
Professional training.
Paid leave.
Retirement opportunities.
The chance to live in different parts of the United States or possibly overseas.
New experiences for your children.
New career opportunities for your spouse.
And possibly a different long-term financial foundation for your family.
That is how you make a fair comparison.
BCT and AIT can be difficult for a family.
PCS can be stressful.
Adjusting to a new environment can take time.
But those periods do not last forever.
So compare:
with
This is one of the biggest reasons I personally decided to join the Army.
When I left for BCT, my wife was approximately eight months pregnant with our first child.
It was not an easy time for our family.
But roughly ten years later, I look at our family very differently.
Healthcare.
Housing.
Our children's future education.
My career.
Retirement.
And the experiences our family has had along the way.
Sometimes I ask myself:
There is no way for me to know exactly what my life would look like today.
But I do know that those few difficult months eventually ended.
The decisions we made during that period, however, affected many years that followed.
Sometimes a family accepts a difficult season because of what it may create afterward.
When people consider joining the military, they often calculate what they may have to give up.
βI may have to leave this area.β
βI'll have to be away from my family during training.β
βMy spouse may have to leave a job.β
βMy children may have to change schools.β
Those are legitimate concerns.
But there is another calculation that is often forgotten:
Education benefits.
Healthcare.
Housing-related benefits.
Military training and professional experience.
Certifications.
Retirement opportunities.
Career mobility.
The possibility of living in other parts of the country or overseas.
Opportunities for your spouse and children that may come with military life.
Not joining the Army does not automatically mean you lose all of those things.
There may be other ways to build a successful life.
But when comparing your options, the opportunities you decide not to pursue should be part of the calculation too.
The question is not only:
βWhat would we give up if I joined?β
It is also:
Staying where you are may feel easier.
You already know your job.
You know your neighborhood.
Your children know their school.
Your spouse knows the community.
You already know how your daily life works.
Change creates uncertainty.
But a comfortable decision and a good long-term decision are not always the same thing.
Ask yourself:
Are you still working the same hours?
Still working two jobs?
Still paying the same high healthcare costs?
Still struggling to save?
Still worried about college?
Still wondering whether you will ever be able to retire?
If the answer is:
βProbably.β
then maintaining your current life is not a neutral decision.
You are choosing that future too.
The purpose of this page is not to tell every family:
βChoose the Army.β
It is to ask families not to assume:
βChanging our life is risky, so keeping everything the same must be safe.β
Sometimes the greater long-term risk may be refusing to change anything at all.
Instead of arguing only about whether you should join the Army, try comparing two possible futures.
Take a piece of paper and write them side by side.
Where will we live five years from now?
What will our income look like?
How much will we be paying for healthcare?
Will we still need two jobs?
How much will we have saved?
How are we preparing for our children's education?
What does retirement look like?
How much time will we actually spend together as a family?
Where could we be living five years from now?
What could our income and total compensation look like?
What could our healthcare costs look like?
What education opportunities could be available?
What professional experience or certifications could be gained?
What retirement progress could be made?
What opportunities might our spouse and children have?
And what sacrifices would we have to make along the way?
Then compare the two honestly.
Compare it to the life you are actually living.
Your current income.
Your current hours.
Your current insurance.
Your current career path.
Your current savings.
Your current time with your family.
And your current plan for the future.
That is the comparison that matters.
This is another reasonable question.
βWhat if we try it and realize military life isn't right for us?β
βDoes joining mean I have to stay in the Army forever?β
No.
If this is one of your family's biggest concerns, one approach is to look at the shorter contract options actually available for the MOSs you qualify for and are willing to choose.
Depending on the MOS and contract options available at the time, some Active Duty enlistment contracts may be available with a three-year Active Duty term.
Rather than automatically choosing a longer first contract, you can compare the available contract lengths and decide what makes sense for your goals and your family.
Complete your first contract.
Experience Army life for yourself.
Then evaluate again.
If Army life works well for you and your family, you may decide to continue serving.
You can look at the reenlistment options available at that time and decide what you want the next stage of your career to look like.
If you complete your obligation and decide:
βMilitary life is not the right long-term fit for our family,β
you can choose to transition back to civilian life after completing your contractual service obligation.
You may also be able to take the experience, training, education, certifications, and professional skills you gained during that first contract and apply them toward your next career.
Think of it as the first stage of a career decision.
If continuing to serve makes sense later, you can evaluate that decision later.
If it does not, you can prepare for your next path.
For the Army Reserve, contract options and benefit eligibility can work differently.
A shorter contract is not automatically the best choice if it prevents you from qualifying for benefits that were one of the main reasons you wanted to serve.
So whether you are considering Active Duty or the Army Reserve:
Compare the MOS, benefits, career goals, service obligation, and your family's situation together.
Some applicants begin the enlistment process with one specific MOS in mind.
βIf I can't get this MOS, I'm not joining.β
There is nothing wrong with having a clear career goal.
But Army MOS availability is not based only on what an applicant wants.
Your options can depend on factors such as your ASVAB scores, medical qualifications, eligibility requirements, security clearance requirements, andβvery importantlyβwhich MOSs actually have openings when you are contracting.
That means your first-choice MOS may not always be available.
But that does not mean the answer should be:
βThen just pick anything and change it later.β
You will actually perform the job you contract for during your first enlistment.
So you should choose something you can realistically see yourself doingβsomething that fits your interests, abilities, or longer-term career goals.
At the same time, focusing on only one MOS may cause you to overlook other good opportunities.
There may be another MOS in a similar career field.
There may be a job that connects well to civilian employment.
There may be an MOS that offers useful technical training or certifications.
Or there may be a career field you never considered until you actually learned what the job involves.
That is why I generally recommend keeping a second and third choice in mind rather than looking at only one MOS.
If you decide to continue serving after your first contract, you may be able to explore Reclassification opportunities depending on your qualifications, rank, the staffing levels of your current and desired MOS, training availability, and the needs of the Army at that time.
Reenlistment may also create other career options depending on what is available at that time.
You may decide to stay in your current MOS.
You may explore whether another MOS is available.
You may consider other reenlistment opportunities.
Or you may complete your first contract and transition into a civilian career using the experience and skills you gained.
But one thing should be clear:
Reclassification depends on conditions that can change over time.
So do not enter the Army thinking:
βI'll take anything now and just switch later.β
But do not automatically think:
βIf my one perfect MOS isn't available today, I have to put my entire plan on hold.β
Look broadly at the good options available to you now and think about how your first choice could create additional opportunities later.
Keep your options openβbut don't choose blindly.
When applicants try to explain the Army to their spouse at home, the conversation can easily turn into an argument.
This becomes even worse when the applicant is not completely sure about the facts and says things like:
βIt'll all work out.β
βDon't worry about it.β
βThe Army takes care of everything.β
Those statements may actually make a spouse more nervous.
If you do not know the answer, you do not have to guess.
Your spouse does not have to support the idea of joining the Army before speaking with me.
In fact, if your spouse is against it, I would rather hear what he or she is actually concerned about.
How long will training take?
If we are expecting a baby, when would it realistically make sense to leave for training?
When and how would family healthcare coverage work?
What would the real financial difference be compared with our current job and expenses?
What happens to our home and household goods during a PCS?
How do we research schools for our children?
What options might exist for the spouse's career?
What does deployment actually mean, and what can and cannot be guaranteed?
Your spouse can ask those questions directly.
They can even ask:
βMy husband told me this. Is that actually true?β
or:
βMy wife said our family would receive this benefit. Is that correct?β
That is completely fine.
I will explain what I can accurately explain.
If there is a realistic solution or another option, we can look at it.
And if something cannot be guaranteed, I will not tell you that it can.
The first goal is to understand why your spouse is saying no and determine whether there is a realistic solution or another option.
Some concerns may turn out to be solvable.
Some may be based on misunderstandings.
And some may be real sacrifices that your family needs to understand and decide whether it is willing to accept.
Your spouse can hear the information directly, ask questions directly, and then make the decision together with you.
The Army is not the right choice for every family.
I cannot promise:
βJoin the Army and every problem in your life will disappear.β
Military life comes with its own challenges.
There may be periods of separation.
There may be PCS moves.
There may be uncertainty.
There may be things you cannot completely control.
But your current life has challenges and uncertainty too.
So before saying:
βMy spouse is against it, so I guess I can't join,β
or:
βChanging our life is too risky, so we'll just stay where we are,β
take the time to compare the two paths.
Look at the actual training timeline.
Look at the actual compensation.
Look at healthcare.
Look at housing.
Look at education benefits.
Look at your spouse's career.
Look at your children's needs.
Look at retirement.
Look at the sacrifices.
And look at the opportunities.
Then ask:
You do not have to make the decision because a recruiter tells you to.
And you do not have to give up on the idea simply because the first reaction at home was:
βNo.β
Find out what the concerns actually are.
Find out which concerns have solutions.
Understand which parts cannot be guaranteed.
Compare what your family may have to give up with what your family may be able to gain.
Then make the decision together.
Every family has different concerns about military service.
For some families, the biggest questions are about pay and healthcare. For others, it may be PCS moves and their children's education, while another family may be most concerned about the spouse's career or the possibility of deployment.
Rather than making a decision based on one concern alone, take some time to learn more about the issues that matter most to your family.
Take a closer look at the overall benefits available through U.S. Army service, including pay, housing, healthcare, education benefits, paid leave, retirement, and more.
Learn more about the healthcare, housing, education, and other support programs that may be available to military spouses and children.
If staying in your current area is one of your family's biggest concerns, compare Active Duty and Army Reserve service, including the differences in lifestyle, service requirements, and benefits.
A PCS to another location does not automatically mean the end of a spouse's career.
Learn more about federal employment opportunities and hiring authorities that may be available to eligible military spouses.
Learn how Army training, skills, and experience may connect to civilian certifications and future career opportunities.
Do not look only at the job you will perform in the Army.
Compare MOS options, training requirements, skills you can develop, and how those choices may connect to your future career.
There is no single answer that works for every family.
If you are thinking:
βBecause of this particular issue, I don't think joining the Army will work for our family.β
do not automatically assume there is no solution before you have the facts.
Tell me about your family's situation and what concerns you the most.
We can first determine whether there is a realistic solution, another option, or something your family needs to consider more carefully.
I will explain what can realistically be addressed, and if something cannot be guaranteed, I will not tell you that it can.
Ask first. Then decide.
Fairfax Recruiting Center, Virginia
π Fairfax Recruiting Center
11240 Waples Mill Rd STE 110
Fairfax, VA 22030
Cell / Text: 703-594-6878
Email: hoyong.lee4.mil@army.milΒ
Army MOS / Army Benefits / Enlistment Information for Applicants
I currently serve at the Fairfax Recruiting Center in Virginia, where I assist applicants in the Northern Virginia area.
Because many parts of the U.S. Army enlistment process can be coordinated through online consultation, I also assist Korean applicants from other states across the United States, not only those living in Virginia.
Note: Actual MEPS processing and shipping procedures are generally handled based on the applicantβs residential area.